Lately I’ve been reflecting on some of those words of wisdom that many parents and older generations seem to try and teach the young. Old sayings like this are incredible sources of truth but we, as youth and in our ultimate wisdom, choose to believe that what is happening in our lives is unique, special and has only ever happened to us.
In reality, most things you will encounter in life, thoughts, feelings and seemingly unique situations have happened before. Maybe to someone you know, but definitely to someone who knows someone you know. The way people deal with problems and learn to move on with their lives is carried with them in how they act in the future and often, the lessons learnt are universal.
Old people know things..
When an older person tells you that moderation is an important aspect of life, they’re not trying to clip your wings, they’re trying to help you find balance. You know how sometimes you just want to grind 24/7 into your passion without taking a break? That’s unhealthy and bad for results. Similarly, when you take 2 months off to just sit on the couch and watch TV shows, it’s unhealthy.
People are, however, averse to lectures on behaviour. You can’t teach anyone who is not willing to learn and just telling someone to do something is not an effective teaching method. The best many of us can do is offer easily digestible, universal advice based on personal experience. “I have a friend who was perfectly content with his life, won the lottery and became the most miserable person I know” — we’ve all heard stories like this but still refuse to believe them. “Money can’t buy happiness”, how many times have you heard that? Yeah, so why are you spending all your time trying to make as much money as possible?
Balance is splitting the difference between excess and insufficiency.
Balance is my goal for 2020. Yes, I am aware it’s a really nothing goal. But it’s my goal all the same. I really enjoy feeling happy, present and good about myself, and I’ve identified by now that balance makes me feel good.
The thing about balance is that it’s not something to strive for. You cannot put all your effort behind ensuring balance because it’s not a tangible objective; it’s generally only something that can be observed in hindsight or from regularly taking a step back and looking at your life from an objective point of view. This makes my goal of balance a more “North Star”, guiding the choices I make and encouraging me to regularly introspect.
This is going to involve fostering healthy habits that make me feel good about myself in a wholesome way. It’s the difference between reading a book or playing a mobile game for 2 hours. Both let you get lost in the moment and forget the stresses of the world but one leaves you feeling like you accomplished something in that time, the other feels like you have lost 2 hours of your life you will never get back; it’s dead time (for me at at least).
Balance is splitting the difference between excess and insufficiency.
In between indecisiveness and impulsiveness is self-control.
In between being having low self-esteem and being arrogant is modesty.
In between obsessing about the past and future is being present.
In between being fearful and completely without fear is bravery.
In between apathy and greed is ambition.
You can always have too much of a good thing, but there are so, so many good things in the world and it’s perfectly possible to have small amounts of each.
Enjoy time with friends, enjoy time alone, enjoy working hard, enjoy the sunshine, the rain and snow. Make healthy choices and let go of the things that are not in your control, take the path of balance and share it with others throughout the year — that’s going to be my 2020.