Over the past few years, I have often felt a feeling of frustration from having a great to deal of motivation, energy and drive to go/do/move/act but then I’m hit with the uncertainty of what to actually do. I’m not sure if you have ever felt this before but it is incredibly frustrating.
My guess is this frustration is seated in indecision about what to do with my life — not a very unique problem for someone in their mid-20’s ey? And I get that it’s pretty normal to experience these kinds of feelings but the drive to ‘do’ adds extra pressure and definitely doesn’t help with decision making.
Only up from here
A few years ago I hit my rock bottom. I had under $200 to my name after 2 years of making $300 per month. The company I started with my friend fell apart when a partner ran away with the equivalent of $50,000, trashed our reputation and more specifically, the reputation of our team of 14 people whom I had no way to repay. I had been putting in 24/7 for 2 years and was left with nothing to show for it. At the same time, I was going through a breakup. I left China to move back home to Australia and live with my parents (so grateful) and for the first time ever, I felt like I had taken a giant step backwards; it was like I had put myself through so much over 2 years and returned home to find nothing had changed, it was as if it never even happened.
It took a few months till I started thinking clearly again but ever since then, whenever I’m lacking motivation, feeling hard done by or tired, I reflect on how far I’ve come from that low. Everyone has stories of past struggles they have had to overcome, recalling them when you’re feeling stuck in a bad place can really help with moving forward but it doesn’t help with showing you where to move.
it’s a feeling of wanting to act right. now.
Paralysed by indecision
THIS is the feeling of frustration. It’s not burnout, it’s not a lack of motivation, it’s maybe not even a feeling of disinterest; for me it’s a sense of paralysis. Being paralysed by indecision, not knowing which is the best path to take and most of the time not even knowing there ARE paths to take. It’s not a feeling of wanting to make plans, set goals and strategies, it’s a feeling of wanting to act right. now.
Putting things into perspective seems to help with this feeling; realising that at its core this problem is about knowing what to do in life and making decisions. Also realising that no one really has it all figured out — even those successful people in your friendship circles, instagram models, business leaders or celebrities. No one has it all figured out. That’s what makes life interesting.
This perspective doesn’t fix any problems, doesn’t make this itching feeling any less frustrating but it does make you feel less annoyed at yourself for wasting the momentary motivation burst.
Still looking for a way out
This is a work in progress and an open invitation for anyone facing similar feelings, make the most of what’s in front of you but don’t beat yourself up about it if you don’t.